Colton - Episode 1

Colton is... if you haven't heard.. a VIRGIN

Ok... there's a WHOLE bunch of crap with people in different places watching the Bachelor and it's all STUPID and takes up entirely TOO much time and I'm VERY glad I waited to watch it later so I could forward through all that crap...

So... we finally meet some of the girls....

Then we're given a little Colton background (and a lot of showering)... Colton was an awkward kid who was heavy and didn't have any friends but then football saved him and now he throws rocks into mountain lakes as he waits to find... the One.

Did I mention he's a VIRGIN

Ok... now we're FINALLY getting onto MEETINGS. Most of them were just... Meh.

Caelynn.... Caelynn was Ms. North Carolina... and wore a sash that said "Miss North Carolina" but then she turned it around and it said "Miss Underwood" which makes NO sense... why didn't she put Mrs. Underwood?? Does she want to be his sister??

Cassie brought butterflies to release to symbolize her releasing of her butterflies she felt meeting him. Caitlin brought a red balloon with a green leaf that she popped and told Colton that she'd popped his cherry. But we, and Colton, agree that it looked like an apple.

Alex D dressed as a Sloth because she heard that Colton likes to take things slow. Which would have been funny for a couple minutes but she WOULDN'T STOP TALKING AND MOVING SUPER SLOW AND IT WAS AGGRAVATING!!!!!! Ericka gave him nuts because her last name is McNutt.

Bri gives a fake accident. Dumb.

Finally they get to the living room which is WAY to covered in pink. Really? Do we STILL need pink to indicate that there are girls there???? bug.

Grrrr... stupid scanner. It says Alex REALLY loves everything.

Catherine kept interrupting conversations.... so.... Onyeka goes over and says "I hear you are drowning in bitches" which was AWESOME