Colton - Episode 6 - Will There Be Anyone Left?

When we left Colton last week, he was MAD.  ANGRY. UPSET.  So of COURSE he had to take a walk on the beach. Pensively.  Grrr.  All the girls could TELL he was mad by the way he was walking on the beach.  Freuds all.




The girls weren't too happy about the situation either.  And rather than being smart and DROPPING IT, Onyka and Nicole keep snapping at each other.  Ugh.  I liked Nicole in the beginning but she just needed to walk away from all this.




Chris says Colton is ready for the rose ceremony.  Our resident Einsteins do the math and figure out that 2 girls are going home.  Oh my.  Who. Could. It. Be????


SHOCKING.  THE MOST SHOCKING ROSE CEREMONY EVER EXCEPT NOT AT ALL... and now that I think about it I don't think they've used those words at ALL this year... not even in the previews....  This is surprising with Colton as the Bachelor (not)



Hannah G gets the one-on-one (Oh... by the way, we're in Vietnam now, so... repeat after me  
một chọi một) Good job! First they get a couple massage, and then they're in the shower... with clothes on... and then they're in the hot mud bath... with clothes on. But boy was she HOT (at least they both thought so) By the way - when the mot choi mot date was announced, there were some HOPPING mad girls. They want THEIR mot choi mot!!!!




Hannah G and Colton then have their non-dinner at the fancy non-dinner table and talk about their respective parent's divorces.  My Katie thinks Hannah is "buggy"....



On to the group date!!!!!  They are going to do a martial art popular in Vietnam which the name of escapes me at the moment.  But suffice it to say, Hannah B knows her way around the martial arts (not so sure about the marital arts... ha ha ha )



SO the girls spar with each other and it's all pretty girlie fighting except for Demi who is still SUPER MAD about not getting a Mot Choi Mot, so she's going to take it all out on her partner, except that Demi has the physical strength of ... something not strong.




Tayshia & Colton talk.  Katie has biggest fears, making her a PERFECT match for Colton and his worst fears.



Hannah B continues to impress with her stick worth, but some of the other girls think she's just NOT serious enough....

Sydney is SUPER mad and SUPER angry that she hasn't had a Mot Choi Mot AND not even good quality time with Colton.  For the love ladies, learn a lesson, you have to MAKE IT HAPPEN.  I can't stand Demi but at least she's figured out that part.




Speaking of Demi... somehow she ends up with a phone and she calls her fresh-from-jail mom on the speaker phone with Colton sitting there.  Awkward and SO clearly contrived.  Why did they even let her do that????????



Sydney is SO OVER IT that she's DONE.  There's just no way she's getting to the end of this with the relationship she wants to have.  Wow... another one bites the dust.


So we get to the end of the group date, one girl down, and Tayshia gets the rose.  But rather than staying and celebrating, Colton leaves.  The girls conclude he is "just not himself".....




Who will get the next Mot Choi Mot??  KIRPA  FINALLY FOR THE LOVE OF PETE!!!!  I'm excited about this until Kirpa completely biffs the jump hug.  Not a good omen..

Colton wants to "dive into her and know her better..." HA HA HA snorkeling jokes. Oh Colton, you funny funny guy.....

They then have possibly the most mature, calm, normal not-dinner ever in the history of this franchise and I worry that Kirpa, too, is just way to mature for this dude.  He does give her the rose.



OH. KAY.  SO.  Demi heads out in the rain to Colton's room, insinuating (wait... not insinuating... boldly stating) that Colton is about to become a non-virgin.  She goes to his room to seduce him.  Sitting on the couch, she reminds him how much they have connected at a deep level and how they are connected and how connected they are........ and he...... chucks her.



So the next day, all the girls get all gussied up for the cocktail party when Colton says....


BuT NO!!!  No Cocktail party.  Straight to the Rose Ceremony.....


And we've lost Katie.  GOOD GRIEF!  But not before she tells Colton that there are some girls left who are JUST NOT READY AND you GUYS IT'S COLTON'S WORST FEAR!!!!!!!!!!

Comments